Honestly I am not sure where to start. I attempted to be a surrogate in the past, one time before Cody and one time after Cody but unfortunately neither resulted in a pregnancy past 11 weeks. The last couple I matched with are honestly such wonderful sweet people and it broke my heart that I could not carry a baby for them but as I’ve learned in the surrogacy world there are things we just cannot control. Unfortunately, with IVF loss can be common and unpredictable even when you follow the protocol and do everything right. I am happy to say that they now have a beautiful baby girl who has joined their family along with of course Mom and Dad and adorable older brother. Before being a surrogate or even being too familiar with IVF I had no idea how loss and failed transfers happen so frequently. It can be a heartbreaking process although through it all you really have to try to always have hope for the beautiful baby in the end.
That brings me along to how this journey and pregnancy began. After a family cruise in November we decided that we were ready to match again and to try to help a dream come true. I say “we” because it really needs to be a family decision. Not only did Jeremy and I have to go through a psych clearance together but we also had to both sign a lengthy contract and both agree to proceed. When it was time we wanted to go with a local reputable agency, which in this case is a group of lawyers and case managers from Creative Family Connections. The agency then will match you with a couple that has the characteristics you were asking for and wants the same things with the journey that you do. Really we just wanted to help a couple start or grow a family. It really didn’t matter to us if it was a same sex couple or what they call a traditional couple. Love is Love and in our eyes two people that love each other have every right to start a family and we wanted to help! We are pro choice and believe it is the parents right to choose what happens with their baby so that choice was easy as were a lot of the other things discussed. We did want a relatively local couple atleast within two hours to make it easier for appointments and for our families to meet but that wasn’t difficult since our agency is local. One sticking point that we did have was that we wanted a single embryo transfer so that it would lessen the chance of a pregnancy with multiples which would
not only put my life at more risk but the babies as well. We did agree that if the embryos were low quality and the doctor recommended it that we would consider two embryos but luckily we ended up with one really strong one that you can see in the picture above!
After receiving the profile of our match we knew it was the perfect match! The letter they wrote about themselves was sweet and perfect and we decided that we really wanted to help them start a family. Once we all agreed after reading profiles we met in person which went perfectly as well. Since then we have also had the chance for our kids to meet them which was really important to us since it is a family decision. For those of you that ask if our kids understand the process I will tell you that if you ask them whose baby it is in my belly they will tell you exactly who it’s parents are. Honestly kids don’t think of it as odd because our kids don’t know any different, we’ve always talked about it like it’s normal. Similar to the fact that the baby will have two dads, they have never acted surprised by it because they have grown up knowing they can love and start a family with whomever they want to!
Let’s fast forward to transfer time! As I said previously we had one really beautiful embryo that was even “hatching” out of its shell before transfer. You can see in the picture above that it’s popping out of the circle that encased it. This is a good sign that it’s developing normally and ready to attach to uterine lining. Transfer day went perfectly, I made the cute faith love and baby dust shirt to wear and luckily both dad’s and Jeremy were all able to make it! I’ve always had really great experiences at Shady Grove Fertility and really this was no different. Everything went smoothly and afterwards I got to enjoy Krispy Kreme donuts that the Dad’s got for me and relax on the couch. A few days after the transfer which was 7/5/16 we went on a family trip to the beach and that is where I took a million pregnancy tests and found out that we were pregnant! Of course we officially found out a few days later by a blood test but who has he patience to wait for that?!?! It was so exciting to get to be the one to tell someone that they are having a baby!
Sadly we did hit a road bump before ultrasound and I had spotting which ended up being an SCH (a sub chorionic hemorrhage) which is a bleed next to the baby in the gestational sac caused usually by implantation. It is more common in IVF but can happen with any pregnancy. This meant I wasn’t allowed to lift anything or exercise or really do much at all. It was kind of nice at first to have a forced rest but that got old really fast and thank God at every ultrasound there was a healthy baby with a healthy heartbeat! After the stress this put on both the parents and myself I am glad to say that at 12 weeks the bleed was completely gone! So far gone that the high risk OB Dr Kramer believes I never had one even after showing him the ultrasound pictures. I really don’t care if I had it or not, at this point I’m just glad it’s gone! Dr Kramer (whom I think is such an awesome and caring Doctor) also cleared me to exercise. He must know me well from being pregnant with Cody because his first words were “now this doesn’t mean you can go out today and run 8 miles” haha. I listened of course and started slow but am glad to say I am up to 12 miles now! Of course that’s with numerous bathroom breaks, slower than I’m used to, and of course at conversational pace the entire time. My OB Dr Helmbrecht, who is another really sweet and awesome doctor (she delivered Ellie), is super supportive and said as long as I’m feeling good and pain free to keep it up since it’s healthy for me and the baby. I will say I am much more paranoid with this pregnancy than my own kids since it’s sort of like babysitting and I swear when I babysit I’m much more overprotective over those kids than my own. With that being said I will run and exercise for as long as I can and when my body is ready to stop I will stop just like I did with Cody at 37 weeks. I’m very excited for the Baltimore half marathon in one week which I will run with Jeremy, and it’s about the same point in pregnancy I ran a half with Cody. Of course I bet I will need to stop every three miles to use the bathroom but I am just happy to be out there and moving and it’s nice to be able to run pregnant and not care at all about pace or speed and just enjoy the wind in my hair and pavement under my feet!
I will end this post with the fact that the Dad’s found out last week and shared with me that they will be welcoming a little girl in March 2018. I can’t say I had a guess either way. I feel like with my own kids I “knew” but with this one I had no idea. It’s hard to explain the fact that I just don’t feel attached to this baby at all, but I do think that’s why I couldn’t even guess. It’s weird because I care about her safety and am doing everything a pregnant woman should do but I just don’t feel attached like I did with my own kids. I really think having 3 kids put me into the no way do I want more kids mode, 3 is more than plenty! I won’t say I don’t want to enjoy a newborn snuggle with this baby but when she cries I will be more than ready to hand her back to her parents to snuggle with. As for the doing everything a pregnant woman should do part, I will say the first thing I want after delivery is a good Italian cold cut sub!
This brings me up to 17 weeks pregnant which we were at yesterday since the baby is due Friday March 23, 2018! I can’t wait to see the love in her parents eyes when they hold her for the first time... and at that point I can take a nice long peaceful nap!
That brings me along to how this journey and pregnancy began. After a family cruise in November we decided that we were ready to match again and to try to help a dream come true. I say “we” because it really needs to be a family decision. Not only did Jeremy and I have to go through a psych clearance together but we also had to both sign a lengthy contract and both agree to proceed. When it was time we wanted to go with a local reputable agency, which in this case is a group of lawyers and case managers from Creative Family Connections. The agency then will match you with a couple that has the characteristics you were asking for and wants the same things with the journey that you do. Really we just wanted to help a couple start or grow a family. It really didn’t matter to us if it was a same sex couple or what they call a traditional couple. Love is Love and in our eyes two people that love each other have every right to start a family and we wanted to help! We are pro choice and believe it is the parents right to choose what happens with their baby so that choice was easy as were a lot of the other things discussed. We did want a relatively local couple atleast within two hours to make it easier for appointments and for our families to meet but that wasn’t difficult since our agency is local. One sticking point that we did have was that we wanted a single embryo transfer so that it would lessen the chance of a pregnancy with multiples which would
not only put my life at more risk but the babies as well. We did agree that if the embryos were low quality and the doctor recommended it that we would consider two embryos but luckily we ended up with one really strong one that you can see in the picture above!
After receiving the profile of our match we knew it was the perfect match! The letter they wrote about themselves was sweet and perfect and we decided that we really wanted to help them start a family. Once we all agreed after reading profiles we met in person which went perfectly as well. Since then we have also had the chance for our kids to meet them which was really important to us since it is a family decision. For those of you that ask if our kids understand the process I will tell you that if you ask them whose baby it is in my belly they will tell you exactly who it’s parents are. Honestly kids don’t think of it as odd because our kids don’t know any different, we’ve always talked about it like it’s normal. Similar to the fact that the baby will have two dads, they have never acted surprised by it because they have grown up knowing they can love and start a family with whomever they want to!
Let’s fast forward to transfer time! As I said previously we had one really beautiful embryo that was even “hatching” out of its shell before transfer. You can see in the picture above that it’s popping out of the circle that encased it. This is a good sign that it’s developing normally and ready to attach to uterine lining. Transfer day went perfectly, I made the cute faith love and baby dust shirt to wear and luckily both dad’s and Jeremy were all able to make it! I’ve always had really great experiences at Shady Grove Fertility and really this was no different. Everything went smoothly and afterwards I got to enjoy Krispy Kreme donuts that the Dad’s got for me and relax on the couch. A few days after the transfer which was 7/5/16 we went on a family trip to the beach and that is where I took a million pregnancy tests and found out that we were pregnant! Of course we officially found out a few days later by a blood test but who has he patience to wait for that?!?! It was so exciting to get to be the one to tell someone that they are having a baby!
Sadly we did hit a road bump before ultrasound and I had spotting which ended up being an SCH (a sub chorionic hemorrhage) which is a bleed next to the baby in the gestational sac caused usually by implantation. It is more common in IVF but can happen with any pregnancy. This meant I wasn’t allowed to lift anything or exercise or really do much at all. It was kind of nice at first to have a forced rest but that got old really fast and thank God at every ultrasound there was a healthy baby with a healthy heartbeat! After the stress this put on both the parents and myself I am glad to say that at 12 weeks the bleed was completely gone! So far gone that the high risk OB Dr Kramer believes I never had one even after showing him the ultrasound pictures. I really don’t care if I had it or not, at this point I’m just glad it’s gone! Dr Kramer (whom I think is such an awesome and caring Doctor) also cleared me to exercise. He must know me well from being pregnant with Cody because his first words were “now this doesn’t mean you can go out today and run 8 miles” haha. I listened of course and started slow but am glad to say I am up to 12 miles now! Of course that’s with numerous bathroom breaks, slower than I’m used to, and of course at conversational pace the entire time. My OB Dr Helmbrecht, who is another really sweet and awesome doctor (she delivered Ellie), is super supportive and said as long as I’m feeling good and pain free to keep it up since it’s healthy for me and the baby. I will say I am much more paranoid with this pregnancy than my own kids since it’s sort of like babysitting and I swear when I babysit I’m much more overprotective over those kids than my own. With that being said I will run and exercise for as long as I can and when my body is ready to stop I will stop just like I did with Cody at 37 weeks. I’m very excited for the Baltimore half marathon in one week which I will run with Jeremy, and it’s about the same point in pregnancy I ran a half with Cody. Of course I bet I will need to stop every three miles to use the bathroom but I am just happy to be out there and moving and it’s nice to be able to run pregnant and not care at all about pace or speed and just enjoy the wind in my hair and pavement under my feet!
I will end this post with the fact that the Dad’s found out last week and shared with me that they will be welcoming a little girl in March 2018. I can’t say I had a guess either way. I feel like with my own kids I “knew” but with this one I had no idea. It’s hard to explain the fact that I just don’t feel attached to this baby at all, but I do think that’s why I couldn’t even guess. It’s weird because I care about her safety and am doing everything a pregnant woman should do but I just don’t feel attached like I did with my own kids. I really think having 3 kids put me into the no way do I want more kids mode, 3 is more than plenty! I won’t say I don’t want to enjoy a newborn snuggle with this baby but when she cries I will be more than ready to hand her back to her parents to snuggle with. As for the doing everything a pregnant woman should do part, I will say the first thing I want after delivery is a good Italian cold cut sub!
This brings me up to 17 weeks pregnant which we were at yesterday since the baby is due Friday March 23, 2018! I can’t wait to see the love in her parents eyes when they hold her for the first time... and at that point I can take a nice long peaceful nap!